I need it.. I think

I am wondering if I am becoming addicted to vicotin. I feel like I need one whenever my shoulder starts acting up. I think it is the looming threat of pain that drives me there. I do feel pretty pain free when I take one, for about three hours. Today, my shoulder started aching and I went for one, but I stopped myself and decided to just put up with the pain, just to show myself that I could go without one. Also, my prescription is running a bit low and I doubt they are going to give me more. Which brings up the next question, and a big fear of mine: When is this stupid pain and weakness going to go away? Also, what the heck is causing this? It came on so strangely, in the middle of the night, and it seems to be in one place in my arm and then another. My pointer finger of my right hand is partially numb, as is the top of my hand right before it.

I am starting to have those doubts, like, this isn't a pulled muscle or a pinched nerve. Like maybe it is something more sinister. It isn't surprising that I am thinking along these lines, I seem to gravitate there more time than not. But, it has been about two weeks now. I am better than when I started, but it is like a different thing now. Before, the pain was in my back behind my shoulder blade, now it is in my forearm and under my arm...plus the numbness. I went most of the day yesterday and today without pain medicine. The worst is when I wake up. It is awful and achey.----------------

Well I woke up. I started this at around 6ish... then I went to bed. Its 2:20 now and I have been up for a little over and hour. My shoulder hurt this time. I kept fantasizing that it was just that my shoulder was out of its socket and that I could push it back in, that there would be one big crack, a ton of pain, and that there would peace after that. But no, just hazy pain and aching. I am watching tivo'd fox news... don't ask why I tivo fox news, you wouldn't like the answer. I have to work tomorrow morning. I have massive amounts of research papers to correct.. I need to sleep. SLEEP PLEASE .............................................................................................................. I am going to try to go to bed again... the vicotin is kicking in.